I fell in love with Christian

Shalom, I don’t think that a woman at the age of 22, a reasonable age for beginning a serious relationship, should give up hope of finding her match just because such a relationship has not yet come about. It should be clear that as difficult as your situation is, it does not justify assimilation, as that is clearly what is being discussed, in the full sense of the word.

In every generation, even Jews who endured indescribable hardships knew to teach and warn their children: Remember you are Jews, never marry someone from another nation. This attitude isn’t only a religious perspective; it’s the personal perspective of anyone who wants to protect their unique identity. In Germany, when assimilation began, anti-Semitism also started. When Jews don’t stay away from mixed marriages, that’s when we find laws like the Nuremburg Laws, which outlawed more than just intermarriage with Germans.

 The fact that your children will be considered Jewish no matter who you marry makes the situation even more serious. Since the children will undoubtedly not live as Jews, seeing as they would have a Catholic father, they could grow up as members of another religion. Who would want children such as those As long as he won’t convert, there’s no way that you can marry him. It’s impossible to mix the offspring of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov with other nations

That type of life would be far from a happy one, with the awful pangs of conscience that would plague you throughout your life due to the terrible step you’ve taken, along with unceasing concerns about the future. Don’t get carried away with the love he’s showing you, he just wants to use you, and that’s why he’s ready to do things that make it look like he really loves you

 It’s not possible to have real love between people who are as different as you and him. You can’t comprehend how many light years apart your souls are in spiritual terms, and how painful a situation it would be if you married. Intermarriage is the only sin which the Sages say brings the couple to heavenly court without any hope of absolution – you are irrevocably chained to it

May Hashem protect us from such terrible degradations. I don’t want to use scare tactics. That’s not the right way to go about things. I’m just trying to help you internalize just how crazy the idea is, and what a slap in the ace it would be to your ancestors, all the way back to our holy Forefathers. You, as the next link in a chain that stretches back hundreds of generations, would be pulling it into completely different territory

I won’t refrain from repeating here what’s written in the holy books about intermarriage. They say that as far as Hashem is concerned, it is like someone who takes the king’s head and shoves it down a filthy toilet! In your case, it’s certainly not a choice between marrying him or always remaining single. A 22-year-old doesn’t need to think along those lines! Many young women only find their Mr. Right in their late twenties, and there’s no reason to give up hope that you will yet find yours

 I’m certainly not judging you, but I can allow myself to judge the act of intermarriage as the most inhuman act possible. Even if the question actually was whether to marry him or to remain single forever, the answer would be the same. Yes, Yes, Yes! It would be better to live out your life as an old maid than to share it with a gentile. That wouldn’t even be a real relationship. As a traditionally religious woman you must certainly understand that this world isn’t all there is. We are here only for a brief visit in order to ace a number of points of free choice

The more we intelligently choose to do good and distance ourselves from evil, the more difficult the test and the choice, the higher the soul ascends by thousands of levels. The faster you move to break off any ties you have with him, the easier it will be for you for the rest of your life. Certainly, if you continue to nurture your relationship with this guy it will be come increasingly difficult to make the right choice later on

There is no time to lose. To make the breakup easier, you can think occasionally about the horrible suffering which hundreds of thousands of our brethren have suffered at the hands of Christians in the name of the Catholic Church – supposedly a religion of kindness and mercy – during the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, etc. (There were definitely members of your own family among the murdered throughout the generation.) All of those hundreds of thousands of Jews could have easily saved their lives by assimilating, and they willingly chose to be burned the stake rather than give in

Apparently there’s reason to stay away from these people even if now you can’t understand why at this point. Imagine how you as a Jewish woman will need to listen to your husband’s descriptions of what happened in Church, and what his Priest said. You’ll prepare his Christmas feast, and celebrate New Year to commemorate a man in whose name was perpetrated all manner of atrocities by the Christian religion against the Jews, in the dungeons of the Inquisition, with murder, hangings, and burning at the stake. Can you imagine such a scene I can’t! Run away from him like you would from a fire, and you will never be sorry. Hashem should help you successfully overcome this challenge! Menashe Yisrael