
אברהם אבינו והבן הסורר - הרב זכריה וולרשטיין (עם כתוביות בעברית) HD
מהי הדרך הנכונה לדבר עם הילדים על שינוי התנהגותם הרעה, ומדוע אין צורך בהענשה? וגם - מה תפקידם של הסבא והסבתא בחינוך הנכדים? הרב זכריה וולרשטיין בשיעור מרתק על האתגר שלא נגמר, חינוך ילדים
I'm going to pick one of the challenges of our time which i think is important to everyone in this room and that's the challenge of Kenneth our kids so whether your parents or grandparents cuz I'm Kenneth never ends you know some grandparents are like I took care of my kids I did my job I'm done we're never done as we'll see tonight from an amazing she-dog on the importance of a grandmother and a grandfather my generation we did not have most of us did not have grandparents because our parents that come out of the Holocaust and most of our grandparents didn't make it so one of the greatest
resources that we have today is that Barco Shem we have young grandparents and we'll talk about the role of a grandparent of the place the grandparent is the place to go where it's nice and safe and it's not the grand parent's job to discipline the children but it is their job to be there my father Oliver shell of who passed away a year after marks mother used to always say to me my skin off of you will never end even when I'm not here anymore I'll come back to you in a dream I'll make sure that you're straight so person's kindness never ends and what we're gonna learn Aikido about it we're
gonna talk a lot about it enough tonight this week's Power Shot fosters Tolos talks about kids so the pulsing starts like this but he thought he was 40 years old when he married rifka and the Taira does something here she's a little hard to understand we the thyroid describes rifka Maddy my Irene if cadet Sudeikis done the Tyra says he married rifka you know who her father was Basu L because they're young kids here I'm not gonna even explain to you how he got that name but it comes from a really bad place that he was called Basu l she was from paddan-aram a very bad place and she was a sister
a loved one a very bad guy why why are you introducing to me this is not good on a of resume by the way why is it turret telling me this just tell me he married a girl named Rifco today caster so Rashi says to learn Swiss on her even though like Noah even though her brother was loved one even though she came from a terrible place even though her father was basu el she still ended up being rifki that's when denied Ori that's one shot there's another very important shot here and that is that the Torah is telling us before Yaakov and ace of a born that there's some really bad spiritual DNA that
rifki is carrying she's coming from paddan-aram her father is Miss su l and her brother his loved one this is very important to know what I'm going to tell you why okay the next plastic but yet that you tell Monica his time the two of them dive into a sham they had no children kiya Cora he she was the problem she couldn't have children my yet Aloha share my terrific wish toy and I sham listened to him and she became pregnant now she says what does it mean with no sign that they were on opposite sides of the porch she was on one side of the porch she's on the other side of the porch why we
need to know that they're on opposite sides of the porch but with no luck also means they were opposite each other now let me ask you all a question a girl comes to the Gullah HOD or a wife and a husband and they're like we don't have children for 15 years Luke I am Caine esti could you give us a brothel and he says to this couple who has no children for 15 years this is what you need to do you need to go to the Kotel my Ravi on the last night of Hanukkah I cut sews and both of you need to doubt it like you've never done it before like it's the Iranian Kippur cry your eyes up but if you do it
on the last night of Hanukkah very Scott a cop I guarantee you you will have a child this year they go they get this exact you know solar clock that they their mamas on the second you know it's 12:01 point forty two point two it has to be exact and they're standing that's mama she to either they don't have children they're diving and they're praying and I'm gonna give my children over to wash em in there and they cry she is crying cos women cry much more she is crushed what's a child she's crying you never saw anyone cry but cahaya she gets pregnant they have a child to make a bris they come
to her kind the two of them women but in this story the two of them come turn of crying and they're like crying crying Nevsky thank you so much this is our baby could you give it a Brosco you memory you told us last year we had a bris we invited you but you didn't whatever it's hard for you but we just want a brother thank you so much it's unbelievable this we're telling everyone about the school uh midnight so it's kind of cool thank you so much time turns to Miriam was the mother of the child Miriam I have to tell you something yes for crying what you cried a lot didn't you might ever cry
like that in my life you Dom it hard didn't you I never thought that hard in my life well guess what a Shem didn't listen to one word you said you know why you have a baby coz he listened to your husband not you what anyone in this room believe that of a girl Hadar no wait even if Leo and nobody came to your crime and told you that for whatever reason a Shem didn't listen to her you would ever tell her that you would say Mazel Tov both of you have a baby boy Hashem Hashem listen to you feeling you wouldn't hurt her she damaged so hard to tell her that what's going on in this plot see how are
you gonna learn this this Shabbos how you gonna learn this in the moment you gonna sit there and say he got especially the ladies they're not gonna be happy with this one they got up to a roof they both found four children but yet that long I shed gonna listen to a word she said he listened to him and she became pregnant the Taira would would embarrass her this way let's say Hashem listened to him because he said sadly sadiq and she's at sadly been Russia let's say that's true it is true why are you telling us that just say and I Shem listen to them how do you learn this Posse that's what God
would do embarrass her in front of all of us so the answer is that we're learning this totally wrong with no ish though they had a disagreement they were dominating for two different things this is what grab ships your biggest brings this down but listen to listen to this you look said the following i Shannon if you give me a child they didn't know they were gonna have twins if you give me a child of course I wanted tonic but if you don't give me at Sonic give me a Russia give me a guy that's whack to the bone in sin don't give me a kid who shoe shoe don't give me a kid who learns talks my
valve anybody goes to dominate goes to don't give me a kid that's all mixed up give me a kid that's either good or bad to the bone why why did you get so down for that cuz it's cooked new if you have a kid that's good that's great if you advocate that's bad to the bone you can change him because his conscience is bothering him that he's doing the wrong thing where did you see this he had a brother half-brother you smell bad para Adam hello Isis pair of them stood at the corner and robbed and stole from everyone but in the end you smelled the chuva so he saw that a kid that's really totally
bad you could flip him you can change him a kid that's mixed up and does happen half so with conscious doesn't bother him yeah I do this wrong but I do this right so I don't have to change I had kids my class that used to come to school by car and my eighth-grade boys in yeshiva Crown Heights and they Astri Rebbe is it better to not come to shul at all or to drive to show it was a very big shower and I went to how much to find skin at that time and why should find said you cannot tell them to drive to school but if they drive to school you'd have to tell them no but you cannot tell the kid
drive to show on Travis you can't you're not allowed to you know if they evil I see their mission well if the kids coming to don't say anything if he asks you don't answer and I thought to myself the kid who doesn't come to shoot at all he's gonna feel guilty I don't come to show maybe you become Orthodox the kid who comes to show by car and he has this kiddush Friday night and then they go to the movies he's gonna he feels I keep Shabbos I mean I do something for Shabbos you know in Bali chuga that comes from nowhere they never did anything they jump into Judaism because I never did anything
if people do half way then that mutants very hard to change them because they do go to show so there's a microphone but I'm Jewish and I celebrate the holiday so I didn't know what to answer it's a very hard thing to answer yet Scott felt I don't want someone who's in between let him not be anything he's not anything he'll come back rifki said no way no way can you damn it for a kid that's gonna be all the way back I know different I have a brother loved on as the plastic says I have a brother loved on I have a father masseur I come from a city of all bad Avril Lavigne who couldn't change any
of them what one is still a Russia but so will die to Russia partner Romans a bunch of low lives so I don't know yeah you smile you got lucky but the bad people of my life they didn't turn good I if you're gonna give me a kid either good that's great if he's not good give me a kid that's at least some good they had this argument so they went into their corners and rifka said a shame give me at Sonic but if you don't give me at Sonic give me a shoe shoe give me a kid that's great and yes I went to his quarters said no I don't want gray I want a kid that's either good or bad and Hashem says the
plus Sigma and I shall listen to his three world Hashem listen to his Fela and said he's right it sucks right either good or totally bad you'll be able to change gray is much tougher by yet Arlo listen to the words it's amazing this is amazing but yeah hello Hashem Hashem listen to him now rifki has twins but she doesn't know she has twins she thinks she has one kid and but what ha'qodesh look says rifki my wife Hashem came to me and told me that he listened to me so we're gonna have this kid that's either gonna be very good or very bad okay she'll listen to you but he's right too soon I
bought in Makeba she goes past the movie theater or Church whatever you wanted whatever and the baby tries to get out there they go pass the yeshiva and the baby tries to go out she sees like something's very wrong and she thinks it's one kid one second how sham said he listen to him if you listen to him my kid is shoo-shoo my kid does know what he's doing you want to go to yeshiva you want to go to church it was really a Schrom then he wants the only base to the shul but I sham said he listened to us clock but George you only care about but time it ain't a normal sale annoy me if my kid is
gray and he doesn't know what he's doing then what a was it to me Hashem said he's listened to his luck so she didn't know what's going on over here listen to the lotion because she went to yeshiva shaver but there's not what the plastic says my tailor lid race as Hashem when I heard this year I jumped out of my chair she went to be Danish to figure out what Hashem said I thought you said black or white but I got this kid who's jumping out of both places so she went to find out I said what did you say I thought you said you listening to my husband oh yeah man our show so ashamed I ever said
snake I am a witness Hashem did listen to your husband he didn't listen to you you see you got two kids you don't have a shoo shoo kid you don't have a kid in the gray you got a topic and you got one that's bad to the bone snake I am the vintners chef didn't listen to you Scott you didn't get two kids that are mixed up you got a good and you've got a bad but Rob yeah Boyd sorry but in the end the older one will serve the younger one which is that a sub who's older will serve Yakko but I heard something very beautiful all of us have Schnee going above it nice we all have twins inside us we
have an evil inclination that whispers us to do have areas and we have the eight Satou of a good inclination we all our life have I it's racism bun and be careful they want us to go to the church not the church but I'm saying to the wrong things and then there's a part of us that wants to go to the good things we always have this battle within us but I sham gives us a brothel and he says that the older one in your fight and all our fights inside the older one is going to serve the younger one what does that mean who is the older one the eighth Sahara or the eights a tub in each one of us the
eighth Hara is given to us when we're born or when we're conceived it's a tub if you're a girl comes when you're 12 years old or when you're 13 so the age of Hara is already 13 years old layer boy before the age of talk shows up the eighth son Hara is 12 years old by a girl before you Yates at ov shows up but rather the older one in the end the round Yahweh that's at sorry the older one which is the eighth Sahara will end up serving your eh a tithe if you do the work so this is a very interesting argument because if I were praying for his child I would think that I would pray for a kid that
shoe shoe is better than a kid that's totally off to Darren but I have to tell you that many times the kids that I deal with I never let I don't believe in that I don't know I don't think it's a therapeutic saying I don't know who came up with the saying you know let the kid hit bottom and watch him bounce I don't believe that you hit bottom of a well you splatter you don't bounce I mean if you can catch the kid before they hit the bottom catch the kid before they hit the bottom but many times children and students that I thought was so far away so far away not in the gray area came back 100%
so this was an argument in theory between these two of course if you pray I guess I would pray that I don't want a kid that's bad but it has a lot to do with it's a I'm not giving tonight it's a ship called rationalization and when you rationalize which is the gray area right in the in the white area you don't rationalize and in the black here you don't rationalize but in the mid area we rationalize and we make things that are to be really wrong and I've come across things that people do that are so wrong that they sit in front of me and they rationalize it not only it's not worn but but it's
like they're it's are they the gray person person that's in the middle has a lot of rationalization it's hook said it doesn't mean all bad it means that he understands that he's doing wrong I want a kid that if he's doing right great but if he's doing wrong he should understand that he's doing what if he understands doing wrong he'll change and that's why we have to talk to our kids not just punish kids we're going to talk about that in a few minutes because when you take a kid I don't know Mike I didn't live in this time but there's new generation you put him in a room what does it call
something time timeout do that in football and I don't know what that with timeout right you put them in a room and climb out and you close the door and you leave the kid in the room what kind of therapeutic help what is what does that mean the kid doesn't nobody did wrong timeout means you go into the room with him and you sit down you know Shafer Shafer do you know why you're in this room do you understand why you shouldn't have done this what Tomomi or what you did timeout means I'm putting you in a room that's it you have no understanding what you did wrong if you don't understand what
you did wrong are you ever gonna change and do that right we don't have time but I thought I was so busy we put your timeout but that's I don't know where that came from I have no idea where that came from but I wasn't brought up that way and I don't know I don't know how that works now let me tell you how the torah talks about bringing up kids so I want to start it's beautiful this is really really beautiful I want to tell you what's key doll which is for grandparents what I said this cheap doll in my shear online never in my life of any shear that I ever got then I get a reaction from Tommy
they call him and rabbis and teachers all over the world it is impossible that you quoted the Phaedo correctly so I had my girls all day long with sending copies and faxes and emails cuz no one could believe that the kid or wrote this but it's a very important CEDAW and anyone who wants to see it after this year I will show it to you and the CEDAW is in next week's partial impasse she's by 8se Yaakov goes to sleep and he has a dream and the plastic says the following Hashem comes to him in the dream and he says the following I need a sham I am God llk Abramovic oh the god of Haram your father
bill okay get scott in the god of Yitzhak he calls Avraham yakko's father and he leaves out the name father when he says it's yonkos father was not a wrong knockos father was yetsko so if you said L okay I've Rama visa and L okay yetsko vehicle okay sometimes the grandfather's call the father but specifically when God is talking to Yoko he says I've wronged your father which he was it was his grandfather and Yitzhak and leaves out the father it's a bomb question what's going on over here Zaid is and bothers listening carefully to this Lido and the kiddo says the following quema I wonder
Chicago is a clay Aviv Hashem called his grandfather father who obviously color of and to his own father he didn't call father nearly the fisheye Yaakov higher Bisaya ROM show you a snippet or mitzvahs Mahasabha Yasser he lived 15 years Yaakov in the life of a Roma vino listen carefully sages and mothers who me right Heba because I brought him loved his grandson Yakko so much how you're correct I say beneath Rolm used to cool Yaakov his grandson my son that was the relationship the grandfather called his grandson my son okay so now we understand why Hashem said Avraham Aviva but why did you
leave out it's luck that he was knockos father very scary oh boy it's God shall hallow Eve eighth of a Russia a semi mano but yakko's father Yitzhak who loved ace of the Russia more than him like our rockers Barroso of it you're favoring one child over the other child I will not call you his father this is a mind boggling you know but it's not his he brings it down from a Rishon from Rubino a frien it's not that he does just because you gave birth to a kid you think I sham considers you his father and mother says the seed all the glad came to Yaakov in a dream and he left out the surname of
Vika by Yitzhak because yes could show more love to a son then he showed theokoles why did God say this why am i repeating the CEDAW because God's making a statement to all of us he made a statement to Yaakov who's going to have twelve children twelve shortened don't favor one kid and we know what happened with Yaakov don't favor one kid over the other and if you don't show the love to that kid in God's world that doesn't make you his parent and a grandparent who treats his grandchild like it's his old child in a shams world you are like his parents and I can tell you through 38 years to be a
Rebbe how many grandparents I know that saved their grandchildren's lives that the children came from a dysfunctional family but they grandpa which was a safe place to go and that's where they were brought up and that's where they were showered with love and that was their safety place you don't know how much you could do for a grandchild and as a parent if you want to be considered by God as a parent you have to shower your child with love and you need to tell them that you love them it's not a secret you have to tell them it's a missionary or Caldwell's missionary Koval says Soviet we're
loved by her shine because we are his children Aviva you Sarah the real love is the extra love is that he told us that were his children I know I'm God's child no he told us that he's our children he told us giving you a million dollars and putting in your bank down you don't know about it and you're a poor man is still a poor man when I tell you that the money's in the bank account doctrine you become a rich man when you say I love my kid but - that kid knows that you love him he's a poor man walking around without knowing that is it there's a parent that has all that love the bank accounts
full you forgot to tell him there's a viral tape of mine that that I spoke about that he died abroad put across when I told his story the true story of man I spoke in Florida and a man came over to me afterwards a very famous wealthy Jew powerful wealthy Jew owns a lot of buildings very very wealthy and he came over he said grab my wallet and I just happened to be in the back because I was waiting for my roof and I heard your last story you don't even know what you're talking about he said my mother was in the Holocaust she had eight kids and a what and a husband they killed them all she came
to America she married my father I'm her only child and one thing she never said she loved me she said when I got older I asked my father why doesn't mom ever say she loves me and my father said you have to understand mom lost everybody and she's so scared to get close to anybody because she thinks the Holocaust is gonna come to America and she gotta lose you too so she's protecting herself but let me tell you your mother loves you you're her only child more than anything else in the world he said I walked away and it felt better but I didn't feel good said rabbi whilst in three days before
she died she's in the hospital I'm sitting next to her she's in and she's out she's in and she's out and all of a sudden she says hi um oh she wakes up says time will come me I want to tell you something he said I was like oh my god she's gonna say it she's gonna say it she could have told me that she loves me and he sits down next to her and she opens her eyes and she says I never could tell you this before but I want to tell you one thing she thought here comes I know everything that you do I'm so proud that you're my son and she died three years later three days later and never said the
words I love you he said write Wallace do you know who I am I know who he is he said the biggest day of my life financially is I flipped three buildings in Manhattan my company made a 100 million dollars it was an unbelievable day through Wallace teen it was nothing compared to hearing my mother tell me she's proud of me that is my badge of honor I am so happy that she said those words she didn't say I love you it's okay this guy doesn't mean anything he's an older man and he's telling me that the greatest day now when he got married his kids will marry to get grandchildren he's a
multi-millionaire he gets covered he gets respect he gets everything nothing it all means nothing my mom told me she's proud of me I was proud of him did you tell your kids but they know tell them anyway tell them they got money in the bank tell them they have love in the bank tell your bank is full of love and caring don't say they know about it they don't know about it say it it's a Badge of Courage it's a it's a bulletproof vest I came tonight to speak about a woman Mark's mother there was nothing in her life nothing but her kids she did not leave me alone I was his Rebbe every single day
shed another comment I'm not gonna tell you that we got along very well in the beginning that woman was there every single day before I came out of my car she's standing there why'd you do this why don't you give more homework why did you do this why you say this to mark oh my god you didn't stop cuz she loved her kids like nobody else she was a mama beer you messed with my kid I will rip your head off she's here listening to she's gonna that's right and if I was there now dad Wallace didn't have a couple of things to tell you - amazing amazing that's why eighteen years later he gets up here
eighteen years later talks about his mom and starts crying eighteen years because she invested all that love and her kids so tonight that's what I want to talk about because it's Lily mishmash and Bruce who had more love and a man than Bruce you have to share it you have to tell them no my kid doesn't need it you kid needs it but I didn't get it from my parents sorry so sorry I can't change that but you could give it to your kids and you could give it to your grandchildren it's okay dog I probably know a chef says is his father because he called him Vinny because he spent 15 years with him
that a therapy book that a book you buy a nice arch bro it's a he done commish on a bomb question meet the it doesn't call you took his father - imposters about--yeah listen to this Rama V no he has two kids you're small and will end with this and and one more shot in how to bring up kids so a sham comes to avril lavigne he says karna has been fun I want you to take your son to the IKEA our brother looks up at a shammy says hey there Ben which son I got to attend hey Schmo and happy it's I'm a lawyer who says to him as you read in the poster and she hits on the special one oh my why I'm wrong
I mean who says to Hashem special one I have a special one is a yucca de Meaux Vinayaka de Meaux each one is special to his mother you're so special to Sara and you smell a special to hug her I still don't know which kid you want me to take to the icater ok I'm alone Hashem says here um I shall hafta the one that you love I've run yeah I'm alone of Rome says to Hashem I don't know which one snare money I have I love both of them on Milo Medin homer Hashem says tell Rama V know as I shall have to her BAE I know you love both your kids but the one that you love more listen to a rama v nu listen
to the man who calls his grandson beneath you have to know where it came from oh the one I love more or malawi says to our Shem really love one more I don't know what you're talking about the cia's globin I am is there like a goal a border and in your in your in your love like like you can't give them equal of like has to have more than the other like what are you talking I don't know what you're talking about I love them both the most Oh my chef said I'm not getting anywhere I'm alone let's see it's like no matter how I'm going to describe your child for you they're both equal so finally
that Hafsa chapter it's luck that's how a Brahmin knew which one to take that's his relationship with his two children ladies and gentlemen your Shmuel was not a good boy Shmuel talk about off the derrick he was off the wall this was not a good boy and I probably didn't say so what so what so he's not a good boy so that means I love him less there are borders in my heart when it comes to my children I don't love them equally because one is good and one is not and that comes to this week and I spoke about this a whole week not here I found preparing for share this week something that I've been
looking for for years because I heard it and I could never find it and I found it and I'm gonna end with this he says the following it's called the period the rebel user and he says the following so let's go into the backdrop a little bit so I brahma had your Shmuel and he had yet squat sorry Ameno said to have rom you got to get your Schmoll out of the house it sucks growing up your small is causing him to fall and to go off the dareth you cannot sacrifice my son for your small I probably know loved you Shmuel as we see we saw in the Madras and he said no I'm not throwing my kid outta I am
NOT throwing my kid out of the house and sorry man who said you offering you kid out of the house so what do they do Rome said keep him in the house I can change him sorry man I said while you're changing him he's changing its code you don't have a right to hurt one kid for the other so they went to Hashem we can't do that right but he went but Russell Crowe's - every cent of shame I want to keep your schmaltz Sora wants him out Hashem said sarah has big a real psycho - out you cannot allow him to hurt to destroy his foot I have one two three schools I'm a high school and I have two
seminaries I've never in my life and I'm a rabbi in Crown Heights receiver I have never in my life thrown a kid out of yeshiva except for one girl I threw a girl out of my high school why did I throw out of the high school because she was destroying other girls you have no right to ever send the kid out of school unless that kid is ready if he's doing drugs you gotta help her we have her talk to her detox her do whatever you have to if the love that kidding help that kid if she's selling drugs no you cannot hurt you cannot make my school unsafe for other people so if you're a mati if you are
hurting other people I do not have a right to allow those people to get hurt by keeping you so the basis of ever throwing a kid out of school is only if there are masti if they're causing other children to go down and in a household it's very hard to ever throw a child out of a house and I am totally anti ever throwing a child out of the house but if that child is coming home and taking all your other kids down your responsibility to the other kids so the only time you have to send the kid out of the house is if they're preaching what they're doing to the others and we hope that most kids you
know they go to their room they do their thing they don't affect the other kids we don't throw them out of the house I brought my vino free Schmoll out of the house could you imagine that the same father they told us sham I don't know which kid you're talking about he threw him out of that he said you gotta go you gotta go with your mother hugger and you gotta go that's what a sham said that's what my wife saw any man who wants you gotta go says this unbelievable Picador every ism listen carefully so he threw him out you Girish I promise your small be Bayside being should knock out a Romney
man you know he says but I Rama V who never forgot his son when you small with 37 years old he was thrown out of the house and you small married a woman's interesting from the arvo small from from Oahu he married a woman the ISA schmuck her name was ISA in huge sin hey dope he's so dope that was her name she came from all of Lanka Shola shot him after three years there now he's 40 years old you smell he's out of the house three years how long I wrongly resist you small - no I rather just throw him out he said I gotta go see what's going on my boy so he asked sorry May no permission and he
said which which I had a very interesting era tonight and she said if you swear to me that you won't get off the camel when you meet him I know what you get him off the camel make myself comfortable that you want to meet him you want to talk to him what is he oh he's doing fine you have to swear to me you won't get off the camel he swore it took him a half a day and he comes to you small his son that he threw out is living and there is your small wife ISA I'm alone hey could we Shmuel with it now she didn't know that whenever I'm gonna be no she's never met him where's your husband you're
small so she said Halle emo they went into the mid bar to get gather dates I'm a law so he said to this ISA to newly me out last time can you give me some bread and water I'm hungry and I'm thirsty - after I'm tired I'm relay she said to him ain't left him am I am old man I don't got no water no food for you I remember where did she come from mo uh it's in my book on spiritual DNA she came from all what's the spirituai can't we marry mo of because when Christ what came at him a try and we was thirsty and hungry we asked him for bread and water what did they say no mo of has this in their DNA
it happened to ready my mom's time ok ok so now I'm Roma V no this is the opposite of what he stands for he stands for food he that his penis of his Sonya Schmoll was to oat who ran to get the food for the mall him he's small ran so this guy small married a really ruling wife so you think I probably gonna leave without leaving a message so he leaves him a message he doesn't want to insult the girl so he doesn't want to say tell you all I said you should divorce you because that's not a realm of you know so he left him a subliminal message and he said the following he said because yellow
ishbal when he comes back Takeda lo tell him that an old man message an old man came from the land of Canaan he wouldn't understand to see him but he wasn't here tell him that in the end I think this house is gonna collapse that was the message you Shmuel comes back old man from canal that's my dad the house is gonna collapse means that this wife was called the bias it's not good for me right boy you small he eagerly sure I said over there she told him whatever Amma said so close she give us rose the Easter day on the spot he divorced during get rid of her this is a kid who got thrown out of
the house his father comes to visit one primary tell him what to do you would say dad you threw me out night tell me who to marry get out of my life you know between of Romani small wait we're not done okay what does he do he has a wife so right away he gets married to a actually his wife Hager makes the off and he marries a woman named for two months Roman was very upset that he came to this is his son and he has a house that they don't give food so he waits three years and he comes back and it comes to see you Schmo and again Sara says when you go you can go you can see him you could talk
to don't get off the camel we're gonna get to why don't get off the camel he swears he's not gonna get off the camel he comes his wife the new wife is there Patara the tumor she's called a tumor which means to stuff the fatten that's her name but tumor he says where's your small she says he went with his mother there in the mid bar they're grazing the the camels he says could you give me room says kid you give me a little bread and water I'm hungry and I'm tired she takes our bread and water and food she gives it all of Rome all my daughter Olive Roma stands up well how are you Miss Powell if
snackers Bothwell but no any Dobbins too ashamed for his son the first time he did not diamond for his son because he did not want to give a broth on a house that doesn't that makes money but doesn't shared that doesn't do give me oh so sudden but here he saw there's a house of sky said so he gave him a Brussels then this male basically shall you small and the house of you shwah became full Luke she boyish mall when you're small came back she told him this man from Kannada an old man I gave him to eat and he gave us all kinds of blessing carefully I said this to a group of parents last night
listen carefully to the end of this shot bu da you small and your small realized shot I shove that on all this time that he was out there in the desert by himself right well six years raka made out of all of his father was always had pity on him and was thinking of him ssin Emma karate mama boy named by Barlow who doesn't mean it Swami says it's amazing she'll lie shocked I thought Rama V no it's been are you small even though I sham said get him out of the house he's no good he still didn't forget his kid How long could walk when he went to visit him and I thought of that he told him who to
marry and who not to marry he says and therefore play Kazi because of this she live safe huzza is small the chuhwa in the end you small did chuva people come to me all the time how do you deal with kids off the derrick look in the Torah the first kid off the Dara with you smile how did I wrong or be new bring him back by showing him that even though I had to throw you out I love you I care about you and I'll never forget about you and not only that I'm not scared to tell you what I think is good for you because in the end of the day telling you what I think is good for you is because I love
you today this story would so not fly you through it kid out and then you're telling him how to live are you out of your mind you have no rights after you throw a kid out you have nothing to say in his life and the godless the greatness is that you smell listened what kid getting thrown out of his father's house his father close up like you know I don't like to bill you're hanging out with like that woody woody what do you it old son you really like he gets rid of her what should we do that you threw me where did that come from why did you smell listen to him and the answer is because of
their relationship because I Rama bina was the same father that didn't understand what God was talking about the one I love war there's not enough love in my heart for both of them when you bring up a child like that then your child knows that you love them then you then when you admonish them when you tell them what's good for them they know what's not coming because you need to say it but because they need to hear it what a difference I talk about this all the time it's not that you need to say it's that they need to hear it very different relationship this is Torah 101 relationships with
your child I know we have a principle here and I'm not talking to this principle that's for sure and this is one of the problems in yeshiva stood a and this is one of the problems in parenting today and I myself made this mistake so this girl that I threw out of school because she had to go because she was destroying not one girl but it was totally out of hand and I knew that I was right what I did I saved a school for one girl what should I do she was so angry a very tough kid she was so angry that she would not apologize she I let the door open I said you know what I'm gonna give in you
stay out of school for two weeks and you can come back I wouldn't come back I hope you dropped that she went at me like nobody went at me and I'm like okay I opened the door you don't want to come back there was no question that I was right what I did for two years I didn't talk to her she didn't want to talk to me I don't want to talk to her she was bad-mouthing me in the street no problem you know Kippur I'm an area to stroll every Yom Kippur three years ago I'm standing by the coastal at 3 o'clock a.m. because we're seeking is like 5:45 in the morning so I go to three hours before just to
get quiet to dive in to get close to him to connect you know where do you plug in where's the outlet so I was in the wall so I go to the wall to plug in that's where the outlet is right you look that's what if I need a water I'm looking so I'm a client that's you know I'm on the unemployment line for 2000 years when the job opens up I want to be first I have a right right I'm standing there so I'm standing by the coil and it's three o'clock of shovels my witness I can't get her out of my heart I never heard a kid like this you know I'm gonna call her there's no way she's gonna answer but a
caller three o'clock I step back out of the clay so I go to the flood sir i dial her number she doesn't recognize my number she picks up hello am i I am begging you don't hang up she who's this I'm like it's Robert Wallace Tina I have something to say don't hang up sure okay I'm listening I'm not getting into a discussion with you about who was rolling who was right what I hurt you and you're a lot of pain and I know that for the last two years because we were very close to four I threw her out we were probably the closest of all the girls in school she was the closest to me I had a crazy
deal I was paying her $100 a week it's a whole story and she was lying to me and I knew it and I paid her anyway because I didn't want to hurt her and of course the one that you give the most to you know no good deed goes unpunished is the one that's gonna stab you that's the test that's the test right Ceaser e to boot a it's that's Shakespeare wrote about it so this is the kid I said I just want to apologize for what I did because I saved a bunch of kids in my opinion but I need to apologize for hurting you because even if you're right if you hurt somebody you won't even if you throw someone
out of school you need to go visit them Avraham Avinu you need to go see how their house is doing you need to give them advice you need to show them that you didn't throw him out of school for your good because if you really threw amount of school for her good then wanted to follow up so the last two years if you did it for me so why don't you call me say let's go out to eat let's talk about it maybe a different school you never called me I said Adina I am asking you to forgive me before Yom Kippur for the pain that I caused you in the last two years she said I can't it's going to me time I
said you got time I'll call you next year I came back I went out to eat with her every including this year every Erev Yom Kippur a three two three three thirty I call her here in America with 8:00 to 8:30 and I'm like did you forgive me yet she gave me a long time ago because I really care about her so yeah how many kids were thrown out of schools don't be ever call to see how they're doing nobody ever call two three years later did you get into high school did you go to college are you married what's going on throw them out they don't exist look what happened to your Shmuel you really throw
them out and you want them to get better the only way is molded chuhwa is because he knew that his father cared about him even though he left the house a parent throws a child out of the house so on so they're not living in your house that means you should stop taking care of them so you took him out of your house because you were affecting other children so then put them in a beautiful apartment take care of them love them show them that you love them you want them to come back they'll only come back if they know that you love them it's not rather Wallenstein it's in it's in on punish it's
in our forum where a father says god I don't even know what you're talking about there's not enough room in my heart to love all my children what are you talking about Ricky does says that if you don't give the love to your child you're not considered their parent this is not psychology this is not a book this is Tyrell I'm not telling you anything on my own is not an opinion I give me any one opinion here and we need to you from inside you need to tell them that you love them you need to tell them that you love them no matter what and if they have to whatever reason they have to leave you
have to follow them it's a mistake that I made and I'm infinite alone tom and I'm the big speaker I let her go for two years what am I gonna what's gonna be after 120 years when they show me this kids pain when I'm gonna live in her pain for two years how am I gonna deal with fats so she's nice to me but I can't take back that pain well that's why I came it tonight if one person and one grandparent or one parent tells your child that I'm proud of you well that I love you my whole speech here was worth it and that's the relationship that we have with God I talk about this all the time my proof
of God I get I got a theist coming out of every corner that you can ever believe every kid that goes online says she's a Jew that's 40 atheist places on the internet to go to prove that there's no that it doesn't exist I'll tell you my proof of God but proof of God is exactly what I just told you my proof of God is that the biggest sinners the people who are the biggest sinners in the world the guys from Isis the biggest murderers rapists killers stealers the worst people in the world get up the next morning how could they get up the next morning why doesn't God just take a map there's a bat
I don't have you ever heard about this bad school the super bat give you about the super bat it's $250 you just touched the ball and it's a homerun it's an unbelievable bats and aluminum bat it's a lot of very expensive this mother has a kid and that was this poor kid he strikes out all the time he can't hit a dribbler he and nobody wants to choose him in and she you know what I'm gonna get someone instead of thing to therapy for twenty fifty dollars 15 times she comes home here's the math I bought you the super bat go out of pay your friends just touch the ball dip it guess it's really
bought me super bad really man yeah love you really love me takes the bat it's his mother with it with her friend is here what you think take away the bat you crazy why do you want you son 50 with the badge goes listen let him finish hitting me and then he's gonna go outside and get any hit a home run after he hits that hole money's not gonna hit me anymore because gonna play with it it's worth it for me to take this beating a crazy beating so that my son's gonna hit a home run so once my son hits a home run he's gonna be a different boy ladies and gentlemen that is a story not of you but of
me every morning of everybody we do our virus I shouldn't give this eyesight we look at things we shot it he is his ears blue is the things we shouldn't we eat things we shouldn't we touch things we should it right all the five senses right and then one welcome I like why are you they're taking the bat which is life right we get every morning and they're taking the bat and a whole day god they're badass you they're looking at things they share that they're talking in lausanne hora they're banging the bang the bank hey don't bring no more than honey tomorrow take your soul when it's up there
why are you letting this guy or girl or woman hit you over and over sham take the bat away why is it giving life two people are sitting only to decommission of life this guy's sinning what do I need you for out because god this is my proof to atheists you because you have to be God to be like this because God says the following you're right this guy I gave him I psyche he is looking at porn and things oh my gosh I gave this person a mouth she is talking gossip she is killing people I gave this guy hands oh my but I'll take a beating physician all day he used 90 years beat me every day but
maybe one day she's gonna take the bat which is life and hit a homerun and change and step into the light it's worth it let him hit me 90 years for that one moment that he hits the home run that's how much God loves us otherwise every time he did something wrong Puff the Magic Dragon is gone but he gives us another day and another day and another day and beautiful eyesight and ears and senses it's unbelievable he gives us all to us even though we use it for the won't think so many times he gives it back he gives it back it gives it back that's how he showed us his love even sometimes he
throws us out oh he threw us out we got thrown out we got thrown out of one base enemy - then we got thrown of another base of meters then we got thrown out of Spain then we got thrown out of Europe oh man we've been thrown out of the house many times but God is always air just like by you chuan to come visit us to make sure that we're okay and it was still here and we're still here now the last question because it's 9:30 we're gonna dial Mira's what's the deal with swearing to Sara that he won't get off the camel I could not find an answer for this it doesn't say anyone why couldn't get off
the cam oh sit down have a tea how about to have a falafel of those days what you saw I have a talk so I asked a rough today he said something amazing he said he doesn't know for sure that's the answer but he thinks it's the answer sorry man who said we asked her Shem what to do and he told us what to do if you're gonna get off the camel and move in with him then it sounds like that the only reason you threw him out was because of me not because there was the right thing to do so you need to come and you need to show me love you can't move in there if you move in there you're saying really
small I want to hang out with you but the reason I can't hang out with you because sorry may know your mother they were jealous and then her saw and you were jealous she said she said on the video that's not what this was about it's not about jealousy it's about doing the right thing for you talk so yes you could go to your son you could show me a love you could give him advice you could do whatever you want but don't you get off the camera will move in if you get off the counter move it what are you telling your Schmoll you tell us well this wasn't from God this is because sorry may know
with jealous because of her sunny it's hot so yes show me a love but you can't move in you can't show him that you really want to be with him because then you're showing that it's not Hashem but it's me I don't know if that's the answer but it's a logical answer it's the only answer that I really really have so I broke up to everyone here is that God should give you a lot of time I reflect on him and i refresh on him to be parents and grandparents and great-grandparents which surely didn't exist in my in my what's ago today both or shall we even have great-grandparents I know if there's any
you know in here right now we even have great-grandparents and now I got as welcome should bring us back to see the other side will say no and we should walk away here tonight if one of you crawls into your kids bed tonight and says I love you and don't ever forget that I may not have told it you enough then tonight was worth it and that would be the biggest eel a neshama for both Bruce and marks mother who loved their children like nobody else thank you very much all English lectures are available online at eat abroad calm you
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פורסם ביום שלישי, י״ח בחשון התשע״ח (7.11.2017). משך: 55:52

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